I want some chocolate cake for breakfast...

So I have decided not to go to Dallas this weekend for many reasons, and I think it was a good decision. The things that we "needed" to do there have changed and no longer need to be done/can probably be done in Tyler instead. Also, I'm just still so exhausted! Don't listen to people when they tell you to get all the sleep you can before the baby comes- because it just adds to the list of things to worry about that aren't getting done. Sleep well before you get pregnant :).

I find out today whether the for-profit-cake (picture above) went over well. It was for a 9 year old's birthday..... yeah... most lucious cake I think any 9 year old might ever get. His mom said that when he saw the cake, he pouted, whining loudly "but mo-om, I said I wanted a homemade cake, not a store bought cake!" Ahhh such a cute un-knowning compliment from the little kid. So, at least it was pretty.

The recipe can be found here. It's a Martha Stewart Recipe for Rich Chocolate Cake with Ganache Frosting. I use 9 inch pans instead of the specialty ones the recipe calls for. Oh, and I didn't even attempt the shaved chocolate. Trying to hold onto chocolate in a Texas kitchen in August without it melting? Please. Being pregnant alone emits enough heat from my hands that would make the task impossible in the winter.

The cute tea towel in the picture was part of a set gifted to me by my mom last Christmas. She always finds the cutest things. Her back procedure yesterday went as expected- painfully but most likely successful. She won't know until a week from now if the procedure stopped the pain it was supposed to, but the doctors are optimistic. Thanks for all the prayers!

Reality Doesn't Bite

I am exhausted and had a really pitiful breakdown yesterday where the 4 year old came out in me and decided it wasn’t fair that I was working so much. Really, God has blessed me with wonderful work, of which I mostly enjoy. Currently, I work “full-time” at Elliott Electric Supply- 32 hours a week. They moved me to a non-stressful position when I got pregnant, lowered my hours, AND let me keep my insurance (how great is that??); unfortunately- it’s just a tad bit boring. I also do album design for my sister’s wedding photography business, which I love! It’s usually not much work, but it’s been a consistent 8 hours a week the last few weeks. My evening last night was dedicated to baking a cake --- for money (it still shocks me what people will pay you to do). Throw in my Tuesday violin lesson- which is so not work, but it felt like it during my tantrum--- and you find me feeling like all I ever do is work (and Thomas agreed).

If you knew much about the Cocklins, you’d know we’re all work a holics- or hobby-a-holics (our hobbies tend to masquerade as work). We just can’t sit still! I usually LOVE the feeling of being productive, of using skills God gave me in a multitude of ways, but lately my train of thought has been shifted—and I realized after my 4 hour tantrum that this is where the clashing feelings are coming from.

Soon I will become a stay at home mom and we’ve been trying to prepare for the transition. I have only been out of a job for 2 months since I was 16 so this is going to be a BIG change. Thomas and I have had a lot of conversations about what each of our expectations are for my new role and how they fit into reality. I’ve thought about it so much that I expect myself to already be fulfilling the roles we discussed. And why not? There are millions of working moms that keep their house running like a well oiled machine. So if they can do it while they have kids, surely I can do it when I don’t have kids right? I sit in my cubicle for 7 hours a day dwelling on all the things I should be doing at home to prepare for Eden and serve my husband, and then when I get home, I either have more work or I’m too tired to do anything.

When I finally uncovered these mostly sub-conscious thoughts yesterday I realized 1) Pregnant women are allowed to let some things slip like consistent housework and cooking, 2) While I’m still working I shouldn’t expect myself to change overnight, and 3) I have an incredibly loving and supportive husband and God.

So what did I learn from my realization? Well, I’m baking another cake tonight and am going to Dallas this weekend to get some necessary baby things taken care of, and am convinced the crib skirt should be finished before I leave to be on schedule…. so maybe realizations are easier than action… but my mental health is much brighter and that laundry can sit in the corner for a few more days :).

Back into the swing of things...

Well there has been a serious lack of baking… and blogging, but I have really good reasons! Pregnancy has thrust me from the camp of people with few food dislikes and a passion for trying new things to the camp of people who eat only safe, bland foods. As a result the joy of cooking for experimentation and tasty results is no longer appealing and the task has joined the ranks of other not so fun household chores. In spite of this development, I’m getting paid to bake soon! How crazy is that? I’m a little nervous that it’ll end in catastrophe but it’s a simple cake that I have made before. But do we need to ask ourselves what could go wrong? Ohhhh plenty :).

Although I’m not baking I’ve found other things to occupy my time (I can hear all the gasps of surprise). Currently I’m throwing myself into some sewing projects which have been really fun. After days of online searching I have gotten all of the fabric to make the bedding for Eden’s nursery, except the sheets which will be bought- I do have my limits even if they are a bit past the crazy line. This project involves making my second quilt, and I’ve once again chosen a pattern with lots of white accented by bright colors. I’ll post progress pictures as I go along. Most of the other projects will be top secret until after Christmas.

I just finished a project for which I was given two pillow shams and asked to make three throw pillows- square, rectangular, and circular. I love challenges and this involved using imagination and learning a lot of new skills. It all went well until the round pillow- adding cording to a round pillow is apparently not for beginners who are making up the pattern as they go along– but I think it’ll go over ok. I really want to make a bunch of comfy pillows for my living room now.

All of this extra time to sew is courtesy of being out of school. I passed my content state board and am now admittedly putting off my second state board because it’s so nice to not study! I’m really getting down the art of relaxing thanks to a sweet husband and some good friends. Thomas gifted me and Anna the best pedicure/manicure and we had a grand time being the only two customers in the salon for 3 hours. That mixed with large doses of pool time, a few out of town trips, and more than normal amounts of shopping has me plump and happy (ok, the plump part is Eden’s fault J ).
I really have a lot more to say but this is long enough already. I guess that’s why people blog every day…. Not every quarter….

Sushi Dreams

Valentine's day reminds me of sushi- you either love it or you hate it and too much of a good thing can be its ruin. Unlike Sushi (mmmmmmm) I'm not a big fan of the holiday. I had to venture to the Monster Box last night for printer ink (which came in very handy for a much needed plan B at schooll) and as always it was easy to see the worst examples of societal cliches while I was there. People were running over other people with their baskets just so they could grab the last hideous pink and red stuffed 3 foot caterpillar. The recipient of which will no doubt love the thought and then end up giving said stuffed bug to charity during next years spring cleaning. Is it becoming clear that I have a negative view of the holiday? Well, then I read Abigail's thoughts on the day, I took a deep breath, and focused on what can be good about the holiday: sincere thoughts and homemade treats from loved ones.

Luckily I have a lot of creative and thoughtful people in my life that help to curve my cynicism.

These delicious treats almost didn't make it long enough to have their picture taken.

In other news... I taught art today!! YAY! I get such a high from teaching art. I compared Mexican Tile art to Nintendo Mario and then discussed the importance of perceiving color. As expected, a few students really liked it and some really didn't (hmmmm.. a lot of things are like sushi). What was great is that they all started to think about their color choice and made good decisions in creating their art works. What wasn't expected was a few a my peers openly bashing my lesson in front of the students. Knowing there are art teachers in the world who want every lesson to entertain the students and who don't take time to teach skills that are difficult is all the motivation I need to keep trying to become one who is different.

I think I'm going to wrap it up now so I can talk my sweetie into some sushi, of course, in an entirely non-valentine-date way :).

Cookbooks I Heart

So because I have work, school, a private student, some semblance of a social life, and trees, I haven't had much time for baking. It’s even more tragic when you consider the fabulous cookbook Jill got me for Christmas.

How cool is organizing a cookbook based on color?? It was always meant for me. I do have to give into Thomas in admitting that it is not exactly the most practical organization, but it does justify the hours I’ve spent pouring over each chapter. I now know roughly what recipes are included and where to find them. I was so infatuated with the book that I carried it with me everywhere over Christmas. During a family function, Anna took a peak and almost immediately exclaimed, “when you make these you have to share them with me!” And of course I was going to make them! How could you not? They have the perfect combination of buttery shortbread and sweet fruit flavors, oh and they’re totally cute.

The cookies haunted me for weeks. Every time I made a peanut butter and jam sandwich, I was pained by how much jam was actually left in the jar. It had not yet been unleashed and allowed to lay peacefully, sandwiched in layers of shortbread. But they haunt me no more! Last week, I finally gave up and made cookies instead of doing homework (it really wasn’t a difficult decision when I finally thought hard about it).

I think I cooked them too long, or maybe too fast. They shortbread texture was spot on, but it was hard to use the cookie cutters to cut out shapes. The shortbread tended to crack and the jam made the cookies stick to the cutter. I think it would be best to cut them in the 5 – 10 minute window after they’ve been removed from the oven. You have to let them cool some or the jam will spread everywhere, but too long, and the jam is too sticky.

Of course, it ended up best to simply leave one huge cookie on the counter and cut off pieces as you walk by J.

Aside from these cookies and some “quick-hour-long” brownies I made, there has been no baking…. And really, no blogging.

I can’t promise more baking, but I’ll work on the blogging!

Home Sweet Home Owner's Insurance

If you were wondering how my day went.....


....I'd say it went pretty lucky. I decided at the last minute to pull under the carport instead of parking in the driveway like I typically do while Thomas is out of town. The only thing that might have been more scary sounding than an oak tree breaking 20 feet away from me would have been that sound followed by the crunching metal of a VW Golf being demolished.

This second picture is for Thomas' benefit since he is away and cannot inspect the damage. The broken board seems to be the most damaged we received to our property. God really protected us.

A big thanks to all who took care of me!!

Me, GENIUS? Oh how sweet :)

Thanks Abigail for the self-esteem boost!

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This is apparently far off base considering I had to double check the spelling of genius when titling this blog. Maybe cooking genius's can't spell words that aren't edible :)